The Logic of Love

The scriptures referred to are 1 John 3:16-24.

My granddaughter got a kitten this week. It is very young and just weaned. She kept bringing it toys and I told her that it is a baby and it has just been taken from its mom and siblings and familiar surroundings. So I asked her how she would feel in the same situation. And she said, “Sad. And lonely. And scared.” I said, “Right. So you need to make her feel loved and safe, so she will trust you and come to see you as her mommy and feel a part of the family. Right now, she needs you to just hold her and pet her.”

Life has always been a matter of learning whom to trust and whom not to. A fortunate child has parents he or she can trust. This gives them the confidence to try and to do things, secure in the knowledge that their parents are reliable and have their best interests at heart. But eventually you go into the wider world and find out not everyone can be trusted. And, unfortunately, some kids learn that they can't trust their parents and this also shapes the way they approach the world.

The same principle applies to machines, systems and institutions. People become attached to certain products because of their reliable performance. Some folks have had a system work well for them. Some people have grown up in churches which gave them comfort and inspiration and community and a sense of purpose.

But again not everyone is so fortunate. Somebody said that a computer is the most expensive thing you will ever buy that you just expect not to work right at times. And so some people, having had a bad experience with them, distrust them and avoid using them if they can. Some people have had bad experiences with the justice system or some other branch of government and consequently do not trust them. Some people have had bad experiences with their church and, sadly, do not trust any other church or religious persons in general.

Trust affects behavior. If you trust a friend who recommends a restaurant, you will probably go there for a meal. If you trust an expert, you will take their advice. If you trust a news source, you will believe their reporting on a subject.

So what is crucial is whether the person or system or institution is trustworthy. And we usually determine that on the basis of our experience, our history with them, or with someone or something like them. A person who is burned when investing in one venture may be reluctant to ever invest again. A person dumped by one person they had a relationship with will be wary of entering into another relationship. Now that can be fine if the venture was a scam and you learned the telltale signs of a scam and how to distinguish it from a sound business venture. And if the other person in the relationship was a sociopath or narcissist or abusive, it can be a good thing if you are now able to spot the signs and symptoms of that kind of person and then find someone who does not have a personality disorder.

But often people overgeneralize their experience. People raised in trustworthy environments may be too naive and uncritical when they encounter predatory people and groups. And those who grew up in chaotic circumstances can have a hard time learning to trust others. “Once burned, twice shy,” as the saying goes.

We are seeing this play out in our country and in our world. Scandals and abuses have damaged the trust people have in government and other institutions. So we have a lot of people who do not trust the vaccines that have been released. People of color remember the Tuskegee study in which black men with syphilis were told they were being treated but they were not, in order that the course of the disease could be observed. Trust is built up or demolished by the history of a relationship.

Trust is vital to every relationship, from the one with the person you trust to cut your hair properly, and who trusts you to pay them for it, to those you love. It is difficult, if not impossible, to work with someone you don't trust. Because trust affects how you behave with them.

Trust, which is also called faith, is therefore at the heart of our relationship with God. And our history with God shows us we can trust him. It begins with his love for us, demonstrated in the fact that Jesus laid down his life for us. As Paul pointed out, it is rare for someone to give his life for a good man, yet Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. (Romans 5:7-8) The whole logic of our passage in 1 John derives from this fact.

You would trust somebody if they merely risked their life for you. If a firefighter went into a burning building, found you and said, “This way!” you would follow him. Jews trusted Gentile friends who hid them from the Nazis during the Holocaust because, if found out, the Gentiles would be sent to the death camps as well. And indeed some, like Corrie Ten Boom and her family, were sent to the camps and some, like her father and sister, died there. The Jews they hid and did not betray were saved, however. You can trust someone who puts their life on the line for you.

Jesus is a unique case in that he did die for us. Usually you would be grateful to such a person but their death would preclude any further relationship. But Jesus rose again and so we can continue our relationship with him and we can trust him more than anyone. Which means when he says that “this is the way to live,” we should follow him.

John is focused on something we see all too often in the church: people who say they believe in Jesus but their actions show that they don't. Not really. And we are not merely talking about those who talk righteously but do wicked things which are explicitly condemned by Jesus. It can also take the form of affirming what Jesus said but not actually doing anything about it. The example John chooses is the person who supposedly is the recipient of God's love but who doesn't do anything practical to help someone in need. If Jesus gave his life for us, it is only appropriate that we his followers give self-sacrificially out of love for others. And in most cases we are not asked to give up our life, just give up stuff in our life to help the lives of others.

“Little children, let us love, not in word and speech, but in truth and action.” Jesus told a parable in which a man asks his 2 sons to go into the vineyard and work. One says, “No,” but later changes his mind and does go. The other says, “Yes,” but doesn't actually go. “Which of the two did what his father wanted?” asked Jesus. And the answer is the first one. (Matthew 21:28-32) Words are cheap. Proof of love is found in what you do, not what you say.

And yet the church gets very invested in words. It has divided many, many times over words. Not God's Word so much as our words seeking to explain God's Word to our own satisfaction. And, yes, there are parts of the Bible that are difficult to understand. But that shouldn't distract us from the parts that are crystal clear. Like Jesus' commands to love others, including our enemies. Like his command to turn the other cheek and not repay evil with evil. Like his explicit statement that what we do to the less fortunate, to the hungry and thirsty and underdressed and sick and alien and imprisoned, we do to him, for they are his family members. Like the fact that he said the world would be able to identify his disciples by their love for one another, not, you'll notice, by their theology or their politics or denominational labels nor even by being excessively and ostentatiously righteous. In other words, not by the things church people so often think are the mark of the saved.

My mom read the Bible to us at bedtime, but I didn't read it for myself until I was a teen and I read a modern translation. And I was impressed by how often the word “love” appeared in the Bible. 969 times in all its forms, according to openbible.info. That's way more times than the words “holy” (686) or “righteous” (581) or “righteousness” (284) or “pure” (104). Or even “faith” (514). It's not that those things aren't important. But we tend to talk even more about stuff that it is essential not to forget. And God's Word talks about love a lot. Which makes sense since, as it says in 1 John 4:8, “God is love.”

All the other virtues come from love. If you are indifferent to other people, you do not care about justice for them. Or peace. Or forgiveness. Nor do those things matter if you hate other people. But if you love people, you want to see them treated fairly and justly. You want them to be well and live in peace. You are willing to be merciful and forgive them. God loves us and that why he wants those things for us. And why he demands them from us.

Everything follows from the logic of love. And love acts when those we love need action. When your child or your spouse or your best friend needs help, you provide it or find someone who can. You don't stand around mouthing pious platitudes or wishing them well. You act. And that's what John is saying. “Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and in action.”

And again, if you really love someone, you care about the truth. You don't want a doctor lying about your loved one's diagnosis or prognosis. You don't want your loved one to lie either. And you know that if you lie to them it is a betrayal of the trust that upholds your relationship. The truth is not always easy but lies and falsehoods poison relationships.

Another thing that love does is motivate you to help your loved one be the best version of themselves. You want your child to be a good person. You want to be married to a good person. You want to be friends with a good person. So if you see them doing or contemplating destructive or self-destructive actions, you speak to them and encourage them to be better than that. You may even have to be blunt at times, if they don't respond to gentler language. You may love them regardless, but certain actions and words can damage and cripple the relationship and nobody in love wants that.

Ultimately John summarizes it thus: “And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.” That is what Jesus requires of us in a nutshell. First, that we should put our trust in the essential nature of Jesus, the Son of God, who is his Anointed One. If God is love, then Jesus is love incarnate, love embodied in a person who is both fully human and fully divine. Jesus both knows and understands what it is like to be human and he can also use his power to help and to save us. And that why we can trust him.

But while we are saved by his grace when we put our trust in him, we are also to reflect his nature in our lives by loving others. If God is love and we are created in the image of God, we are most like God when we love. And the recovery of that image of God in us is a big reason Jesus came to us and did what he did. If we do not love, it would be like Superman discovering his powers and then not using them to help the world, but just using his heat vision to make popcorn. Worse, 1 John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.” A Christian who does not love others is a contradiction in terms.

But who, apart from God, can love everyone? Nobody. Not unless we have God's Spirit living in us and through us. We receive his Spirit at baptism and we are to grow in his Spirit. However, as Paul reveals, one can quench the Spirit. (1 Thessalonians 5:19) One can ignore his voice and his urging as did Jonah. So we can resist God's Spirit within us. But if we do not obey his commandments, how can we say we are his followers?

If you trust someone who has more knowledge than you, you do what they say. God knows everything, as our passage reminds us. So we do what he says. And he says to put our trust in Jesus and love one another. That's the only thing that will really change the world in the way God wants it to be changed.

People try to change the world with force and intimidation. If those don't succeed they use manipulation and deceit. Those things can change the world but not for the better. One study found that violent movements only succeed ¼ of the time. Non-violent movements succeed twice as often. And as for lies, they are eventually exposed.

We are to show our love in truth and in action. Like the first Christians who showed God's love to the poor (Acts 4:34-35), to the sick and disabled (Acts 5:16; 8:7), to those in prison (Acts 16:22-34) and to people of all races and nations (Acts 8:26-37). The church went on to build hospitals and schools. The abolition movement was begun by Christians as was the civil rights movement. Today churches run homeless shelters and food pantries and literacy programs. Local churches provide space for AA and other support groups. National churches help immigrants get settled. They are often the first to respond to disasters through their relief programs. By acting together, we can fulfill Jesus' words that we will do greater works than his. (John 14:12)

But that doesn't excuse us as individuals from showing love to the people we meet in ways, big and small. Our witness is crucial. We are made in God's image, which Jesus, the very image of God, came to restore. And our goal is to grow and become more Christlike every day. We may be the only Christ some people encounter. And while we may not yet offer a perfect reflection of the God who is love, we should at least not introduce distortions into our reflection of him. We need to be trustworthy and loving.

People, like kittens taken to a new home, can be sad and lonely and scared. They need a place where they feel safe and loved. They need people they can trust and who make them feel a part of the family. And if they find this faith and love they will also find hope—hope of a new life with their loving heavenly Father and his Son who loves them enough to die for them and the Spirit who pours out his love into their hearts for all eternity.