The scriptures referred to are Genesis 50:15-21; Romans 14:8-12 and Matthew 18:21-35.
One of my duties as chaplain at the jail is to approve religious diets. Some jails don't bother. One chaplain said, “We just don't serve pork.” Neither do we, but the problem is that religious diets are more complicated than that. Orthodox Jews also do not eat shellfish, nor can they have meat and dairy at the same meal. During Passover they cannot have anything with yeast in it. The Islamic halal diet overlaps so much with the Jewish kosher diet that most Muslims have no problem with it. Strict Hindus don't eat beef, which we also don't serve. Some Buddhists and some Seventh Day Adventists are vegetarians, but unlike in Judaism or Islam, that diet is not required, but a personal choice. And no major traditional religion requires a vegan diet excluding all animal products like dairy. The closest is Jainism, the only religion whose restrictions not only forbid all animal proteins but also specific plants, like root vegetables.
The jail has rules to keep this situation manageable. They state that you must have been an adherent of the religion before your incarceration and you must inform the jail of that at Intake. You must request the religious diet within 10 business days. Which means that while in jail you may change your religion at any time but you can't change your diet. Furthermore, you must provide the name of a clergy person who knows you and can confirm that you are in fact a part of that religious group. And it can't be a friend or relative. If, as one inmate told me, you have not been out of jail or prison long enough to join a religious community, you can give us the name of that institution and I can contact the chaplain there to see if you were on a religious diet. But if you have a medical condition that requires a certain diet, that supersedes any religious diet.
The problem is that no one can look into a person's heart and see if their faith is sincere. So, as in the legal system, we look for evidence. Following a strict religious diet is a spiritual discipline and it means giving up foods others can eat. It's a sacrifice of sorts. Not only do we look for evidence that you have in fact been on it before, we keep looking. If you buy food forbidden by your diet from the commissary, you lose that diet.
I am bemused, however, by how vociferously some people argue that they should be put on certain diets regardless of the evidence, especially when other commandments of their religion, like not stealing, not lying, not committing murder, etc, don't seem to hold as much weight with them. Because there is a hierarchy of values in most religions. Muslims who are children or elderly or have health problems are exempt from fasting during the month of Ramadan. Rabbis have ruled that to save a life it is permissible to break any of the laws of Torah except idolatry, forbidden sexual relations and murder. That is why an expert in Jewish law asked Jesus what was the greatest of the 613 commandments in the Torah. They knew that they can't all be of equal importance, just as we recognize that parking violations are not as serious as violent offenses.
Anyway, the inordinate amount of time I spend trying to verify religious diets makes me sympathetic to Paul's working with the dietary questions in today's passage from Romans. The problem was that in the Gentile world, the meat markets were usually attached to pagan temples. They sold the excess meat left over from sacrifices made to Greek and Roman gods. Because it had previously been offered to idols, some new Christians felt that they couldn't eat that meat. Now we know from his first letter to the Corinthians that Paul did not think the idols were real gods and so the meat was not inherently defiled. (1 Corinthians 8; 10:23-33) However, various guilds met at pagan temples, the way a business or a club might schedule a lunch at a restaurant. In that case, Paul said that Christians should not eat at a pagan temple feast. (1 Corinthians 1:19-22) Also the council in Jerusalem had told Gentile Christians not to eat meat sacrificed to idols, which was something difficult to do for those living outside of Judea. (Acts 15:29)
Paul is saying that everyone should follow their conscience. Christians who don't have a problem with meat sold at a pagan market should not look down on those who can't bring themselves to buy or eat it. Those with stricter personal rules should not pass judgment on those who don't share their particular scruples. There is a hierarchy of values and as Jesus said, the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love our neighbor, which is anyone we encounter including enemies.
Think of this hierarchy in ethics like the practice of triage in an emergency room. The highest priority is given to patients whose immediate care could mean the difference between life or death. The next highest priority is patients who probably won't die but whose quality of life could be severely affected if not treated as soon as possible. Only then does the ER staff turn to people with sniffles or splinters in their fingers. So if there's a car accident, they first treat those who otherwise might not make it, and then those who have broken limbs, and finally those with scrapes and superficial lacerations.
Of first importance in our faith are the essentials of our beliefs, summarized in the creeds, and the essentials of our behavior, which are summarized in the two greatest commandments. Jesus said that all the law and the prophets are derived from these and that no other commandment is greater than these. (Matthew 22:40; Mark 12:31) And you can divide the Ten Commandments into the first four, which concern our relationship with God, and the last 6, which concern how we should act towards our fellow human beings. (Exodus 20:1-17) All the commandments in the Bible are about maintaining or improving those relationships, including maintaining our own selves.
But what happens when we do things that violate those commandments or fail to do the things that fulfill them? You cannot go back in time and undo the damage. You cannot unsay the word or make it so you never did the harmful act in the first place. The past is gone. The consequences can persist into the present. You must act now so that hopefully the ripples do not warp the future. What you can do is repent. You can turn from what you did or said and turn to the person and to God. You can apologize and mitigate the damage as best you can and repair what you've done to the relationship.
And if you are wronged, you can accept that change of heart and forgive the person. That's the hardest part. And sadly, it falls to the victim to do it. It feels unfair. What's more, staying angry at the person might actually feel good. But it is not healthy, either physically, psychologically or spiritually. As the Buddhist saying goes, “Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” On NPR, I heard the story of a woman whose daughter was murdered. They caught the guy and he was convicted. But she was still filled with a white hot rage at him. And then one day, she realized that her hatred of this stranger had so consumed her life that she was neglecting her other kids and her husband. So she decided to go to the prison to see the man who killed her daughter. And talking with him, she realized he had a very different childhood than her daughter. He was abused and neglected. Growing up without love and support damaged his ability to interact with other people. It didn't excuse what he did but it made his terrible actions a little more understandable. The woman continued to visit him. Eventually she was able to forgive him. And he found a person who cared about him, something his life had been missing.
Once an inmate said to me, “I know that we are to forgive everyone. But there is this one guy I can't forgive.” And he told me of how his sister was the victim of a serial killer, now in prison. At first I didn't know how to respond. And then I remembered something a Lutheran lady pointed out to me: while on the cross Jesus doesn't say to his executioners, “I forgive you”; instead he says, “Father, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing.” So I told him to ask God to forgive the killer and ask God to help him, her brother, get to the point where someday he can also forgive that man. I knew he wasn't ready yet. But if he never forgave his sister's murderer then he would be that man's last victim, suffering psychological torture. He would be eaten up by hatred. If he did pray for the ability to forgive, eventually his thoughts would not be dominated by the man who took her life. Instead, his thoughts could be not of his sister's worst day but of memories of the good moments they shared and of gratitude for her and for her love.
By the way, Jesus nowhere says that if you are continually harmed by someone you shouldn't take practical steps to avoid that. One inmate was repeatedly arrested for fighting with his father. I told him that, as a chaplain, I would like them to be reconciled but since the inmate had a wife and child who needed him, he should just stay away from his father. He could forgive him but since they did not seem to be able to get along, it was better for both if they just didn't get together. I say the same to any female inmate in an abusive relationship. Get away from him. Not only are we not to harm others, we are not to needlessly put ourselves in harm's way. And witnessing abuse harms children.
That forgiveness is a high priority is illustrated in today's parable in our Gospel reading. Jesus tells the story of a slave who somehow owes his master a ridiculous sum of money. Ten thousand talents would be the equivalent of millions of dollars. But when the man pleads for patience in repaying the debt, his master forgives him the debt. That slave then demands a fellow slave repay him a few dollars and when that slave makes the very same plea, the first slave has him thrown into prison. Word gets back to the master and he summons the first slave back and tells him that he should have been as merciful to his fellow slave as the master was to him. Then we are told “And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Jesus is using hyperbole to make a point. Forgiveness is not optional. It is an essential part of living in God's kingdom. We will screw up and so will the people in our life. If we want forgiveness from God, we must be willing to do the same to others. After all, every time we say the Lord's Prayer, we say, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Matthew 6:12) The actual Greek word in Matthew's version is better translated “debts.” Jesus is talking about what we owe God and what we owe each other: loving thoughts, words and actions. Luke's version renders this petition “Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us.” (Luke 11:4)
Nobody is perfect. That's why when the occasion arises, we need to be able to repent of the unkind things we do and we need to forgive the unkind things people do to us. That's why countries in which grave and systematic abuses have been committed by one group of people to another group have found it helpful to set up a Truth and Reconciliation Commission. It investigates, records and publicizes human rights abuses and wrongdoing that occurred during a conflict or a dictatorship. Victims share what was done to them. Perpetrators make full disclosure of what they have done and are allowed to apply for amnesty. The record of these wrongs become part of their history. It has been done in more than 50 countries. In the US, it has been done twice for regional conflicts and abuses. But it has never been done for nationwide abuses in this country. Maybe it should.
Someone once said, “It ain't the parts of the Bible I don't understand that bother me, it's the parts I do understand.” One of the things that most troubles people is God's clear command to forgive others. How can anyone do that? Well, Joseph did. His brothers sold him into slavery. Eventually however Joseph ended up second in command of Egypt and used his organizational skills to feed people during seven years of famine. So he told his brothers, “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today.” (Genesis 50:20) Joseph saw firsthand how God could bring good things out of a bad situation. That's what God does. He took the worst thing we could do—crucify his son—and turned it into the way of saving us from ourselves and from our sins. Jesus forgave his enemies, his mocking brothers, his cowardly disciples, and even a zealous religious fanatic named Saul, who later took the name Paul, the Latin word for small or humble. Yet it takes a big person to forgive wrongs done to them. Like Jesus. He forgives all who ask, including the criminal on the cross next to him. And part of the cross we are to bear daily is to do the same, with the help of his Spirit who lives within us and among us.