Compassion

The scriptures referred to are Psalm 25:1-10.

You'd think that everyone who goes into nursing would do so out of compassion. And for the most part you'd be right, just as most people enter the military out of love for country and not, say, because it offers them a legal way to kill people. But there are disturbing exceptions. There are so-called Angel of Death nurses, who are in fact serial killers who figure, correctly, that they can kill seriously ill patients and not get caught...at least not until someone notices an uptick in suspicious patient deaths on their shift. The same goes for other people in the helping professions. There was a British doctor who killed approximately 250 of his patients!

That said, the vast majority of people who go into healthcare do so out of the desire to help people. I remember a couple of newly graduated RNs who, once they realized they would be primarily dispensing meds, doing documentation, supervising LPNs and CNAs but not doing actual patient care very much, said, “This is not why I went into nursing!” Welcome to the 21^st century. Yet even those things are vital and if done right, they will help people.

My point is most of us assume, rightly, that the average healthcare professional is a compassionate person. Can we say the same for what people think of the average Christian?

The answer used to be a resounding “Yes!” One of the things that turned the tide of popular opinion about Christians in the Roman Empire was the fact that when plagues hit the cities, and the rich and powerful fled to their country estates, Christians stayed and nursed the sick and dying at the risk of their own lives. After all they were following Jesus. He healed people. He fed hungry people. He defended outcasts and sinners against the self-righteous. Several times we are explicitly told that Jesus had compassion for people. The Greek word indicates a gut reaction, a deep inner sympathy for people. In Mark we read, “A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, 'If you are willing, you can make me clean.' Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said. 'Be clean!' Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.” (Mark 1:40-42)

Jesus' first impulse was to do the compassionate thing. Thus when his disciples were arguing about whose sin might have caused a man to be born blind, Jesus said, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (John 9:3) And then he healed him. Jesus didn't waste time debating the theological or moral cause of a person's suffering; he alleviated it. That, as he said, is the work of God.

So how did being a Christian, in the minds of some, devolve from helping the suffering to blaming the sufferers, as happened in the 1980s during the AIDS crisis? Pat Robertson blamed Haiti's earthquake on the story of a Voudou ceremony that kicked off their slave revolution in 1791. John Hagee blamed hurricane Katrina on the level of sin in New Orleans. And Jerry Falwell even blamed the terrorist attacks of 9/11 on pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays and lesbians. In contrast Jesus, whom these preachers should be familiar with, said, “...those eighteen who were killed when the tower in Siloam fell on them, do you think they were worse offenders than all the others who live in Jerusalem? No, I tell you!” (Luke 13:4-5) As Paul pointed out, we are none of us righteous and innocent. (Romans 3:10) So mere disasters are no proof that those affected by it are worse than the rest of us.

If you want to be Biblical about it, any such divine judgments would be clearly announced by prophets beforehand, not afterwards, and always with God's offer to relent if people repent. That's what we see in the book of Jonah. God is more willing to forgive than his prophet. Jonah is enraged when God doesn't punish Nineveh, saying, “Oh, Lord, this is just what I thought would happen when I was in my own country. This is what I tried to prevent by attempting to escape to Tarshish!—because I knew that you are gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in mercy, and one who relents concerning threatened judgment.” (Jonah 4:2, NET) As God says in Ezekiel, “Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but prefer that wicked change his behavior and live.” (Ezekiel 33:11, NET) Humans cheer at the death of the wicked, not God.

We Christians are not to be callous but compassionate. As a matter of fact it is right after Jesus tell us to love our enemies, because God sends sun and rain on both the good and the evil, that he tells us, “So then, be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48) The Greek word translated “perfect” means “complete, mature, reaching its end-goal.” Our goal is to be like God. Being compassionate is a large part of that.

I got the idea for this sermon series from Caroline Kingdon, an RN who is a researcher and works with patients who have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. In her portion of a webinar on M.E. she listed 6 elements of patient care, all of which started with a C. Her definition of compassion is one I particularly love. She said, “Compassion describes the way care is given through relationships based on empathy, respect and dignity. It can also be described as intelligent kindness and is central to how people perceive their care.” Let's look at this definition in greater detail.

Compassion is how one should give care. While the average Christian is not a nurse we do take care of others by helping them. We may bring meals to the elderly and shut-ins. We may take people shopping or drive them to medical appointments. We may just visit and give people time and attention and a sympathetic ear.

And just as nobody wants to be given care by an indifferent doctor or a grumpy nurse or a bored CNA, a Christian shouldn't be seen to be doing something simply because they feel they are required to. Paul, even while appealing to church members to give to the poor in Jerusalem, says, “Each one of you should give just as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, because God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7) God's compassion and grace towards us should stir our compassion for others. We do want to be like our heavenly Father, don't we?

Kingdon goes on to say that the “care is given through relationships.” That's the best way. There are times when we do one-time works of charity, like when we give Thanksgiving dinners to people or Christmas presents to needy families or when someone comes to the church and I help them out with groceries. Jesus healed so many people, he may never have seen most of them again. But I bet he had a good relationship with Peter's mother-in-law, whom he healed and who must have wanted to see him and cook for him every time he got back to Capernaum. She may have been why Peter's wife let him travel with Jesus rather than stay home and tend to his fishing business. Lazarus, whom Jesus raised, and his sisters Mary and Martha were friends and he stayed with them in Bethany much of the week before his death. And there were the women who traveled with Jesus. Luke says, “Some time afterward he went through towns and villages, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and disabilities: Mary (called Magdalene), from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna the wife of Cuza (Herod's household manager), Susana, and many others who provided for them out of their own resources.” (Luke 8:1-3) Jesus healed them and they followed him and heard him preach and supported him. And I imagine they often saw to it that the people Jesus healed were cleaned up afterwards and given clothes if they needed it and had other practical needs seen to. Whatever happened to the woman taken in adultery after Jesus had shamed her accusers into leaving? She couldn't just go back to her old life. Her husband wouldn't have taken her back. Her community wouldn't have accepted her. I'll bet Jesus' female followers took her in. And, remember, it was many of these women who were the first witnesses to the resurrection. They have been rightly called the apostles to the apostles.

And we are not talking about just any kind of relationships. These should be “relationships based on empathy, respect and dignity.”

First let's look at empathy. We have cells in our brains called mirror neurons. They allow us to feel what others feel. Thus when someone describes hitting their funny bone, or catching their little toe on a table leg, we wince in empathy. It even works if you have never personally had the experience. I remember in nursing class watching an instructional video on labor. It showed an actual episiotomy and not only did everyone react by squeezing their legs together, including us male nurses, but one girl said, “I am never having kids!” You didn't have to have the experience to understand the pain involved. Empathy is not pity nor even having sympathy for another person; it is sharing their feelings at least in some small way. It is connecting with them in their vulnerability. And it is comforting to know you are not the only person who has experienced certain feelings.

It is also important to respect people and try to preserve their dignity. Sickness and misfortune can strip us of our idea that we are strong, independent people capable of great courage and heroic response to any and every situation. When something beyond our control—illness, injury or disaster—comes upon us and destroys our sense of agency, we feel naked and vulnerable. We feel out of control and fearful. We feel we are not victors in life, but victims. And we need someone to remind us that we are more than that. We are people created in God's image and redeemed by God's son. We are not to be denigrated for our misfortune but afforded dignity and treated with respect.

And this brings us to Kingdon's description of compassion as “intelligent kindness.” Some people are well-meaning but come off as clueless. They are condescending or they may be entirely too keen on cheering up someone who needs to grieve. Paul says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep.” (Romans 12:15) In other words, use those mirror neurons and respond to the person in the appropriate way. Treat others as we would like to be treated if we were in the same situation.

Sometimes people need advice, yes, but sometimes they just need to vent. As someone said, the question to ask is “in this instance are we problem solving or just listening? Does the person want advice or just someone to hear them without judging them or trying to fix them?” We need to be sensitive to what the person we are trying to help needs.

Jesus does this well. He knows the checkered sexual history of the woman at the well but he doesn't focus on that but on her desire for what he has to offer her spiritually. She probably got enough of people's sneering at her in her daily life. Jesus doesn't inquire as to what incident or behavior the woman who washes his feet with her tears and hair is so sorry about; he just forgives her. He doesn't lecture the woman taken in adultery; he tells her he doesn't condemn her and simply says to do better in the future. He shows Zacchaeus kindness and acceptance and lets that shape the man's response to his realization of his past history of taking advantage of others.

Kindness is one of the fruit of the Spirit. It is an expression of compassion. And it is something that we can see is in short supply in today's world. Terrible things happen to people and some laugh and some criticize and some show contempt. But Jesus said we are to love even our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Hurt people hurt people. They respond to receiving and feeling pain by dealing out pain to others. As Christians, we are to interrupt that cycle and offer compassion instead.

Psalm 145 says, “The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and of great kindness. The Lord is loving to everyone and his compassion is over all his works.” (Psalm 145:8-9) As Paul said, “Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children and live in love as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.” (Ephesians 5:1-2) We are to be like our heavenly Father. We are to be compassionate. For compassion is a key component of being a follower of Jesus.