In Praise of Women

The scriptures referred to are Proverbs 31:10-31.

In the film The Matrix Keanu Reeves's character is offered a choice of two pills. If he takes the blue one, he will be returned to the fantasy that he is just an office worker in a normal world. If he takes the red pill, he will wake up to the horrific reality that he is being used as a battery by robots who are at war with human beings. The internet loved this idea and came up with variants on the pills. But to be blackpilled was to realize that civilization is hopelessly corrupt and in decline and there is nothing you can do, except hasten its collapse. It's an ironic, almost gleeful nihilism. The origins and consequences of this toxic attitude on the darker places of the web and how it spilled out into real life is the subject of Elle Reeve's book, Black Pill. As a reporter she has been monitoring how a group of mostly young men created a community of internet trolls who felt themselves to be hopeless virgins or incels (involuntary celibates). In addition to being socially awkward, many had high IQs and had read Charles Murray's book The Bell Curve, which asserted that IQ is inherent and that white men are smarter than non-whites...and women. This led to white supremacy, the alt-right, Gamergate, Charlottesville, QAnon and ultimately the January 6^th insurrection at the Capitol building. It also led to what these trolls ironically called “white sharia,” the idea that women should be stripped of their rights as they are in extremist Islamic countries.

Weirdly we see some echoes of this in certain churches and communities who call themselves Christian. There is a huge uptick in YouTube videos made by self-professed “trad wives,” women who want to go back to a simpler time when they could simply be traditional housewives, just cooking, cleaning and raising the children. There is nothing wrong with this if this is simply a woman's own choice and is not dictated as her only option by her husband or culture. Many of these women are Mormons and if you watch their videos on Tik Tok the algorithm will then offer you right-wing extremist videos as a follow-up. These people say they just want to go back to the way things always were, the way they were in the Bible. If so, perhaps they had better read the Bible first.

Women figure prominently in the saga of God's people. Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, Rachel, Miriam, Zipporah, Rahab, Deborah, Ruth, Esther, the various Marys, Martha, Lydia, Junia, Priscilla and many more women have played key roles in God's plan. They were matriarchs, queens, judges, apostles, leaders and teachers in the early church. And then there's today's reading from the Old Testament.

If one thinks the Bible's attitude towards women is “keep 'em barefoot and pregnant,” the last chapter of the Book of Proverbs will shatter that idea. Because this passage in praise of women portrays the virtuous wife as anything but a stay-at-home mom and doormat. And as the climax of one of ancient Israel's books of wisdom, it says that smart, skilled, industrious, business-savvy women are the epitome of practical wisdom.

This passage is composed as an acrostic, with each verse beginning with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. So the first word of the first verse begins with Aleph and it is a word that can be translated either as “woman” or “wife.” Most adults were married. The next word in that verse can be translated as “capable” or “strong.” Taken with the first word, we have a phrase often rendered “a woman of valor.” It is a phrase used of Ruth, King David's grandmother. Valor was also used of an army or warrior. So in 2 words, we have our topic: a woman of moral strength or virtue. And since the overall theme of the book is wisdom, that is the specific virtue being explored in this portrait. Let's take it verse by verse.

The Tanakh translation of the Jewish Publication Society renders the first verse this way: “What a rare find is a capable wife!” Like wise men, wise women are not common and so she is more valuable than jewels. From the repeated use of the words “my son” in the Book of Proverbs the original target was young men but this is a healthy, non-toxic approach to women. It's basically saying, “Marry a wise woman.” Good advice.

I like the way Eugene Peterson's translation The Message renders the next verse: “Her husband trusts her without reserve and never has reason to regret it.” By the way, the word translated “gain” in the NRSV is literally “plunder, spoils.” Perhaps this refers to her prowess at shopping. But once again, the Bible uses a word traditionally associated with a warrior and links it to a woman. It is good to remember that similarly in the second chapter of Genesis the woman is created to be not a servant to the male but a “corresponding strength,” which, used in a military context, means an “ally.” (Genesis 2:20) Marriage should be teamwork with mutual support and rewards. The next verse emphasizes this by saying a man's wife only does him good and never harm. That too is mutual among allies.

At that time there was no industrial garment manufacturing. A woman made most of her family's clothes. The seamless garment Jesus' executioners gambled for because it was so valuable was probably made by his mother Mary. (John 19:23-24) The verb “seeks” in verse 13 has the sense of “investigates.” The woman is shopping for the very best wool and flax. Which means she must first make the threads by spinning the wool and flax before she even gets to weaving and sewing the clothes. But this is not something she dreads. The NET Bible translates the next phrase the best; “She is pleased to work with her hands.” She's good at it and she enjoys it, just as much as any man enjoys exercising his skills at making something.

The next verse compares her to a fleet of merchant ships, bringing food from afar. As discerning as she is when it comes to wool and flax, this woman doesn't just grab any old thing from the market for food. She makes an expedition of it and, as Peterson puts it, “brings back exotic surprises.”

It took a while to get the fire in the home started and have the oven hot enough to cook with. So this woman gets up before dawn and makes breakfast for the family and her servants. The NRSV follows a lot of translations who interpret the part about alloting food for the serving girls as meaning the woman is actually handing out chores to them. Such a level of organization is not out of character with this woman but if we go with the literal translation it means she is thinking that even her servants need a hot meal before dealing with the tasks of the day.

The woman's discernment is not limited to materials and food. In the next verse, she carefully plans the purchase of some land and buys it “with the fruits of her hands.” In other words, her own income. This is a 2 income family, as were most families before the industrial revolution and unions made it possible for a family to be supported by one breadwinner. With the stagnation of the buying power of wages beginning in the 1970s we have returned to the traditional 2 income family. This wise woman, whom the Bible praises, is a business woman. And what does she do with this land? She plants a vineyard. She will make wine. It will take time for the vines to mature and produce decent grapes, so this is a long-term investment. She is looking and planning ahead.

“She girds her loins with strength.” In the ancient Near East, both men and women wore long robes. In order that your robe didn't get in the way when doing physical work, you gathered up the lower parts of your garment, pulled it up between your leg, and tucked it into one's sash or belt. Girding your loins meant getting ready to work, the equivalent of our “rolling up your sleeves.” So this woman is not afraid of hard work. She is strong, both mentally and physically.

The next verse tells us that she knows that her merchandise is good. Verse 24 tells us that she sells the excess clothing she makes. Or maybe she is looking forward to the wine she will produce from her new vineyard some day. The woman knows her strengths and is confident.

“Her lamp does not go out at night.” Again, the woman's hard working ethic is highlighted. She is burning the midnight oil. Or it could mean that the light of her wisdom illuminates her whole life, both night and day.

The next line emphasizes that she does her work herself, spinning the wool and making linen from the flax. She's got a good mind, yes, but she is not above working with her hands.

Next we are told that “she extends her hand to the poor and reaches out to the needy.” She doesn't regard her money as hers alone but helps out those not as fortunate as she is. But she doesn't wait for them to come to her. In Hebrew the words for “extend” and “reach out” are forceful ones. She seeks out the poor and needy whom she helps. Her charity is intentional.

And she isn't afraid that her generosity to the poor is going to mean her kids will suffer when it gets cold outside. The whole household is dressed in crimson. This might seem a little odd. How does the color of her family's clothes keep them warm? Crimson dye was expensive and crimson clothes were the best, made from wool. The next verse continues this idea that good clothing is important to her. I don't think we can accuse her of being a clotheshorse. Since she makes and sells clothes, she has to dress in them. She is, in a way, her own best advertisement.

“Her husband is known in the city gates...” At the main gate to a walled city back then, the city fathers sat on benches and heard and judged legal cases and civil disputes. This woman's husband is one of these elders and obviously is as wise as she is.

The next verse tells us how she makes her money. Making and selling clothing was a common trade for women. But lest we think this woman is just about being attractive on the surface, we are told she is clothed in strength and honor. This is a formidable woman who can laugh at the future because she had made provisions for whatever comes.

When she opens her mouth, out comes wisdom and she teaches kindness. This is not the ruthless caricature of a businesswoman that Hollywood gives us, like Meryl Streep's character in The Devil Wears Prada. This passage does not equate being a good businessperson with being a horrible human being. This woman understands the value of kindness and teaches others its ways.

This woman does however keep an eye on what she manages and though she is well off, she doesn't goof off. She doesn't eat the bread of idleness but earns her bread.

Her children appreciate all she does for them as well as her husband. He says, “ Many women have done excellently but you surpass them all.” He compliments her without running down other women's achievements. He is not sexist.

We are reminded that charm can deceive and beauty is both empty and fleeting but a woman who reveres and is faithful to God is praiseworthy.

One last instance of iconoclasm: the Bible tells us to give this woman a share in the fruit of her hands. This means both “Give her credit for what she has accomplished” and “Give her the reward she has earned.” Women were legally owned by their husbands back then. So it was possible for the husband to keep any income his wife made. But the Bible is saying to let her have it. She deserves it. That doesn't sound like the sexist book people make the Bible out to be, does it?

Finally we are told to let her works praise her in the city gates, that is, the center of civic power. The worth of a person is not rooted in what they appear to be on the surface. What they really are is revealed by what they do. A person's works speak for themselves. Neither race nor gender determine what someone can do. That Biblical attitude is why the real strides in overcoming prejudice against race and gender have been made in the Christian West. Despite our pitiful progress in these areas, what Paul wrote in Galatians still resonates and inspires us: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female—for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28) In the kingdom of God, what you were—by class, by culture, by country, by all the “accidents” of birth—are nothing compared to what you are becoming, and what you can do, in Christ.

Though they do not determine our worth or abilities, our differences are important, just as every color in an artist's palette is important. And so, at the beginning of each sabbath, before a woman lights and blesses the candles, this lovely peon to the noble wife is recited by the Jewish husband to his beloved. It is also read at the funeral of a Jewish woman.

We now know from studies that the prosperity of a nation is tied to how much economic power its women have. Similarly, science has found that the health and longevity of a marriage can be accurately determined by observing whether the husband listens to his wife and seriously considers what she says. These truths have been hidden in plain sight in scriptural passages like this one. And in the very first place in which the Bible mentions the sexes it says, “And God created humankind in his image; in the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

We are all created in God's image and it was that way from the beginning. God planned it that way. God is so complex, he cannot be fully represented by just one gender. The image of God is fully seen in both coming together, working together, supporting each other. Only then do we see the true image of the God who is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

First preached on September 20, 2009. It has been revised and updated.