Feedback

It's called the sixth sense by some. It's proprioception and it is your body's sense of where it and its parts are in space and what they are doing. Lacking this sense is rare. There are only about 7 people worldwide who have lost it. Ian Waterman got sick one day and went to bed. When he awoke he could not control his body enough to get out of bed. It was not that his ability to move his body had left him but without proprioception he did not know where, say, his legs were and whether they were doing what he wanted them to do, like swing out of bed and plant themselves on the floor. He eventually learned to walk again by mentally breaking down any large behavior into a series of simple steps, looking at the limb he wanted to work and consciously willing it through those steps in sequence. Everything we might do subconsciously, like fish a potato chip out of a bag, he has to plan out and then watch his body parts as they do it. On the episode of Radio Lab in which he was interviewed, he told of the time that a pretty girl crossed his path and caused him to stumble. When he shifted his attention to her for just a second, his feet began to falter because he was not looking at them and telling them what to do.

The only people who might have a clue of what Waterman is dealing with are those who get very drunk. One of the standard field sobriety tests is to have the suspected drunken person close his eyes and try to touch his nose. If you are inebriated enough, it degrades your proprioception to the point that you cannot find your nose with your eyes closed. Which means that Ian Waterman can never turn off the lights because if he can't see his body, he is as good as paralyzed.

The main problem is that Ian Waterman gets no feedback from his body. When you or I wake up in the dark, we nevertheless know where our body parts are. We can make them move when we don't see them. We can scratch our chin or find the light switch without looking. We can find a chip in a bag while watching TV because of a sense that we take for granted. If we didn't have this feedback, it is not hard to see how you could, say, smash your fingers in the process of closing a door or a drawer without looking.

You could make an argument that many organizations suffer from this condition, their right hand not knowing what their left is doing, so to speak, and consequently getting in the way of themselves. You could argue that many people live their lives that way.

Lent is very much an exercise in feedback. We often suffer from a lack of spiritual proprioception. Lent is a time to turn on the light, see where the various parts of our life are and observe how they are doing. It is a time to consider whether we are putting ourselves in danger of, or are already doing, spiritual damage.

In the Invitation to a Holy Lent, which follows after this sermon, certain spiritual disciples are recommended. One is self-examination and it is the essential first step in the process. We often pick up unconscious habits of mind and behavior that could use some scrutiny. For instance, Christians often hold onto certain cultural values even when they contradict Biblical principles. Here in America we live very materialistic lives while claiming to be spiritual. We create entertainment made up of behaviors like violence, idolatry and adultery that we supposedly condemn in real life. We have tried to wed a rugged individualism that says “you need to look out for number one” to a faith in which the highest value is self-sacrificial love for others. We need to turn on the light, recognize and deal with these clashes between our society and our beliefs.

Personally, we need to see where we are in our relationships with God, with others and with ourselves. Are we progressing in becoming more Christlike or have we stalled? Are we regressing and becoming more adversarial towards God, others and ourselves? Are we being honest with ourselves?

We need to see if, in our spiritual slumber, we have grabbed ahold of greed, or gotten tangled up in lust, or kicked out in envy, or drifted into laziness or gluttony, or struck out in rage or arrogance. And then we need to change our position, which is repentance, and marshal our efforts to get where we should be. Maybe we need to break it down into small steps like Ian Waterman. We need to repair what's been damaged, through humility and by both giving and asking for forgiveness. To do all that we need to be connected to a source of power, which means speaking to God in prayer.

And so that we don't stumble as we walk with God, we need to avoid distractions. This requires a measure of self-denial. Many find fasting helpful. But since staying in step with Jesus is not natural to fallen humans, we need to focus on each step in our journey.

And there is a map of the journey we must take that has guided people for millennia: the word of God. Reading and meditating on it will lead you to a treasure of truths about ourselves and about the God who calls us to be his companions on the way.

But, you may ask, is this the best way to begin our journey—bewailing our sins and putting ashes on our heads as we remember that we will one day die? Isn't that something that will stunt our spiritual growth rather than nurture it?

Jesus said, “I am the vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. He removes every branch in me that bears no fruit. Every branch that bears fruit he prunes to make it bear more fruit.” (John 15:1-2) Things that are harmful and even some things that are just not helpful need to be removed from our lives if we are to fulfill our purpose and produce the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

And if we are not consciously part of the process of removing them, we can stumble. They can also be removed in a more painful way. Michael Gill was born into privilege and rose to a high position in a major advertising agency. Then he lost it all. He was fired from his job. An affair resulted in a newborn son and a ruined marriage. Finally he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. At the lowest point in his life, Gill was offered a job at the Starbucks he used to patronize. In cleaning toilets and serving customers, he found peace and a better grasp of the truly important things in life. Most of us would find it humiliating to be reduced to such a job at the age of 63. But as Gill sees things, it took him 60 years to finally see things clearly.

Lent is often seen as a time of self-flagellation and an unhealthy preoccupation with our sins. But Gill's experience shows us that the outcome of a drastic re-evaluation of your life can lead to a healthy appreciation of what is essential. You may have to let go of the things which the world values, but that doesn't have to be the end of the world. Seen properly, it can be the beginning of rebirth.

Originally preached on February 17, 2010. It has been revised and updated.

An Invitation to a Holy Lent

Dear People of God: The first Christians observed with great devotion the days of our Lord's passion and resurrection, and it became the custom of the Church to prepare for them by a season of penitence and fasting. The season of Lent provided a time in which converts to the faith were prepared for Holy Baptism. It was also a time when those who had been separated from the body of the faithful were reconciled by penitence and forgiveness, and restored to the fellowship of the Church. Thereby, the whole congregation was put in mind of the message of pardon and absolution set forth in the Gospel of our Savior, and of the need which all Christians have to renew their repentance and faith.

I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the observance of a Holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God's holy Word.

(from the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer, pp. 264-265)