The Way of Love: Pray

The scriptures referred to are Genesis 15:1-12, 17-18 and Psalm 27.

Babies are born with a number of reflexes. For instance they will instinctively grasp things put in the palms of their hands, like your finger, but this reflex fades at 6 months. Which means they have to learn to grab things intentionally. And if you hold them under the arms, support their heads and let their feet touch a flat surface they will put one foot in front of another as if walking. This reflex goes away after about 2 months. You may have heard that babies also have a swimming instinct. You may even have seen videos of infants holding their breath and moving through water. This primitive reflex does not amount to actual swimming, though. They can't hold their breath intentionally and they can't keep their heads above water. Which is why the most common fatal injury for children ages 1 through 4 is drowning and why it is the second leading cause of death for toddlers. Hence we fence off pools and watch kids like a hawk when they are in water. Real swimming has to be taught.

Prayer is probably the most primitive and instinctual of spiritual behaviors. Especially when we find ourselves in trouble and there is no human around who can aid us. As Anne Lamott has written, the most common prayer is simply “Help!” The other basic prayers are “Thanks!” and “Wow!” And prayer, particularly of the last two varieties, does seem to fade out as people get older unless they develop it and make it into a habit.

Prayer is simply talking to God. But people often ask how to pray. Even Jesus' disciples asked this. There are two possible and even overlapping reasons for this concern.

First, people often treat prayers like magic incantations. They think if you say the wrong words it won't work; say the right words and it does. The problem is that the power is not in the words. The power is in God. The most eloquent prayer will not force God to do anything against his will or nature. Mark Twain once wrote a short story called “The War Prayer.” A country goes to war and the people in a church pray for victory for their side. An aged stranger comes forth with a message from God. He tells the people the unspoken part of the prayer they have just uttered: that the soldiers of the other side be torn to shreds, that they suffer pain, wounds and death, that their homes be destroyed and their wives and children be made widows and orphans. That's what they are really asking God to do. And of course so is the other side.

We can ask God anything. But he in his wisdom can say “No.” Jesus in Gethsemane asked God to let the cup of his suffering and death on the cross pass. “Yet not my will but yours be done,” he says. And God does not take that cup away as his Son asked. (Luke 22:39-42) Prayer is not magic.

But another reason people want to know how to pray is because when addressing God, we can get tongue-tied and even go blank. How does one address the Creator and Ruler of the universe?

In the model prayer Jesus gives his disciples, he starts, “Our Father...” On occasion Jesus addresses God as Abba, Aramaic for “Papa.” We are not coming before some impersonal force but our Father, who is responsible for our existence and who loves us.

But he is “Our Father, who is in heaven...” He is not simply another person. He is God. There is a moment in the TV series The Crown, where Prince Philip is reminded that his wife is also the Queen and his Sovereign. She has authority even over him. And as children of God it helps to remember that he is also our King and we are his subjects.

Then comes the first petition. And it is not for us but, “May your name be sanctified.” In the third of the Ten Commandments we are told not to misuse God's name. The Hebrew of Exodus 20:7 literally reads, “You shall not lift the name of Yahweh your God in emptiness (or falsehood).” So this petition in the Lord's Prayer means “May you name be used properly, as holy.” And in the Ancient Near East, it was important that your name be honorable. Again we are reminding ourselves of God's morally pure nature.

Then we are to pray, “Your kingdom come; your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” This is parallelism, a feature of Hebrew poetry we see all the time in the Psalms. We are saying the same thing in two different ways. We are praying that God's kingdom come to earth. And the result of that is that we will see God's will being done in the world just as it is done in heaven. The Greek word we usually translate “kingdom” also means “royal reign.” When God reigns, his will is carried out. This is pretty much the same as Jesus saying, “Not my will but yours be done.” This should be part of every prayer or at least understood as an underlying condition. Again, unlike a magic spell, you are not trying to make the universe do your will. You are submitting to God's will.

Then we are to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread.” We are asking God to supply the things we need every day. Notice it is our bread and not our donuts. We are asking for our needs, not our desires. It's not that we can't ask him for things other than what is absolutely necessary. But our priority should be to put what we actually need before other things. People do get them mixed up, putting luxuries and lesser things before food, shelter or even their health. And they can get angry or disappointed with God over unfulfilled desires. We often ignore the fact that at least we have our basic needs met, for which we should be thankful.

Next we are to pray, “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.” In Luke's version the word “sins” is used in place of “debts.” Because the debts are the moral duties we owe God and owe others and which others owe us. As Paul says in Romans 13:8, “Owe no one anything but to love one another, for the one who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.” In other words the two great commandments—to love God with everything we are and have and to love our neighbor as ourselves—are not suggestions but actual moral obligations. Knowing we will not always love God as we ought, we ask for his forgiveness. And in turn we forgive others for not loving us as they ought. This is not optional as the parable of the unforgiving servant makes clear. (Matthew 18:21-35) God's will is that we love him and each other and ask for and give forgiveness.

Finally we are to pray, “Do not lead us into temptation but rescue us from the evil one.” The Greek word for “temptation” also means “testing” or “trial.” Temptations can test your trust in God and his ways. And the word I translated “rescue,” which is usually rendered “deliver,” literally means “to draw or pull to oneself.” So we are praying that God draws us to himself rather than let us be drawn to the evil one.

Now as we said, this is a model prayer. It is not the only way we can pray. Just as babies grow up and get better at things like grasping and walking, Scott Gunn says in his book The Way of Love that we are to develop and become more mature at praying. He writes, “We start by praying to God and asking for things. Then we learn to give thanks for those blessings we have. Then we learn to praise God and ask for the well-being of others. Then, finally, we learn to ask God for guidance.”

I don't know about you but I feel good when thanking someone for what they do. And it is nice to have someone acknowledge what you do for them. Furthermore people love complementing or praising people or things they love. Think of how folks in love spontaneously write love letters and love poems to their girlfriends or boyfriends. A segment on StoryCorps related how one man wrote his wife a love letter everyday of his life. So it should be with God. When we don't thank and praise him, we deny ourselves the enjoyment of expressing our gratitude for and delight in him. He created the world and the universe. He created animals and plants and people. He sent Jesus to us. He loves us and wishes for us to live with him forever in joy and peace. There are plenty of opportunities to say “Thanks!” and Wow!”

We can also share our concerns with him. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast “all your cares on him because he cares for you.” Even if we cannot articulate what we want to say to God, we should still pray. Because, says Paul, “...the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how we should pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with inexpressible groanings. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes on behalf of the saints according to God's will.” (Romans 8:26-27) God's Spirit sees what is in our hearts—our needs, desires, hopes and fears—and he knows what we are trying to say, better than we do.

And we don't always know what to do with the gifts and skills God gives us. So we can pray to him for guidance. Remember that his answer may not come in the form of a supernatural sign. It may come in the advice of other Christians, friends and family who see your gifts, possibly more clearly than you do. It may come in the form of an opportunity to use those gifts for God and to help others. Usually your vocation is found at the point where what you are good at, what you enjoy, and what the world needs overlap. And if you can make a living at it, however modest, that is even better.

God doesn't call everyone to the ordained ministry. He calls individuals to be singers and teachers and artists and nurses and mechanics and fishermen and scientists and cooks and writers and farmers and cleaners and factory workers and builders and administrative assistants and lawyers and even people in government. He calls people from every walk of life and every part of society to serve him and plant the seeds of his kingdom in every corner of the world.

God answers all prayer. Sometimes it is “Yes,” as when Samuel was looking for a new king and saw David. (1 Samuel 16:6-12) Sometimes it is “No,” as with Jesus at Gethsemane. Sometimes it is “Not yet,” as when Abraham asked for a son and heir. And sometimes his answer is “I've have something else in mind for you,” as when Saul was going to Damascus to arrest followers of this new movement that proclaimed some dead carpenter as the Messiah and he was bowled over by a vision of Jesus. At the end of 3 days of praying, God told this Pharisee that he would proclaim Jesus to the Gentiles. (Acts 9:1-19)

Just remember that God is not merely the King of the universe but also our loving heavenly Father. We can ask him anything but we must also listen for his loving and wise response. He will not give us blessing to play in the pool unattended when we are not ready or do what is not good for us. But he will give us challenges so that we learn how better to walk with him. And his hand is always there for us to grasp if we need his guidance or just his comfort.

To pray is a vital part of the Way of Love but it is not simply something used in isolation. It is also part of a bigger practice: to worship. And next Sunday we will look at that.