Love and Obey

The scriptures referred to are John 15:9-17 and 1 John 5:1-6.

I can't remember if it was an episode of The Crown or an episode of Victoria but there is a point at which either Prince Albert or Prince Philip has to adjust to the fact that despite being married to the Queen, he is not a king but her subject. A lot of guys have trouble with their wives being more powerful than they are but they rarely have to literally obey her commands. And yet, by all accounts these were happy and successful marriages. Unlike, say, the more traditional marriages of Henry VIII. But he is an outlier. Most royal marriages do not end in beheadings.

Still the marriages of Albert and Philip point out that differences in power do not preclude love. Which helps us understand something that pops up in both our Johannine writings for this Sunday. Both tie our love for God with obeying his commandments. 1 John says, “For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments.” And in the previous chapter of the gospel of John, Jesus says, “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.” (John 14:21) Wait a second! Isn't God's love for us unconditional? Yes, but here John is talking about how we express our love for God. And we do it by obeying his commandments.

This bothers us because we tend to think of love as egalitarian. After all, the phrase “obey” is no longer part of the wife's vow in the wedding ceremony. If we love God, why do we need to obey him?

Even today we expect underage children to obey their parents and this does not mean that there is no love between them. And the very rational reason we expect this is that the parents, by virtue of being older, should know better than their children. Yes, we can think of exceptions to this, but they are by definition exceptional, just as the marriages of Henry VIII are to the rule of royal marriages. Thus, for instance, we do not let children enter into legal contracts on their own. Parents and children generally love each other despite their differences in power.

With God the difference is even greater. And God is not merely our metaphorical Father but our literal Creator. He designed us and how we and the universe work. So he knows infinitely better than we what we should and shouldn't do.

But he didn't make us as robots, merely following programming without the ability to decide if we want to or not. Because a robot cannot love. Ironically, that fact is at the heart of the Steven Spielberg movie A.I. In the film, a childless woman gets an android boy to be her son and at a certain point she activates an irreversible imprinting protocol that makes the android love her. And even when abandoned by her, the android boy seeks her and wants her to love him back. But despite his experiencing the feelings of love, it isn't real because it is programmed. He has no choice. Real love has to be a choice.

God created us so that we have a real choice of whether to love him back or not. But since the universe is created by the God who is love, love is the best choice to make. It's like the fact that you can live on junk food, but that's not the best food for your body in the long-term. To live a long and healthy life, you need to cut way back on the fries and soda and candy and eat a balanced diet, including, as your mother said, your vegetables. Mother usually knows best. God always does.

Human love is not exactly like God's love. In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis uses the fact that Greek has different words for love to explain the differences and the limitations of each. Yet they all get used metaphorically of God's love for us and ours for him. We have been talking about familial love, in which God is like our parent and we his children. In our gospel passage, Jesus speaks of his disciples as friends. And, yes, there are even parts of the Bible that use the image of romantic love for our relationship with God. The Song of Solomon would never have made it into the Bible had the Jews not seen it as poetic depiction of the love between God and his people Israel.

Why does the Hebrew Bible use the image of God and Israel as husband and wife? Because a parent and child do not have an absolute choice when it comes to loving one another or not. But individuals do when it comes to marriage. Rereading Genesis this year I was struck by how, even in a culture of arranged marriages, we are told that Isaac falls in love with Rebekah and Jacob with Rachel. Marital love requires choice and commitment and loyalty. And that makes it a pretty good metaphor for our relationship with God.

The New Testament changes that image somewhat to make Jesus the bridegroom and the church his bride. But in this metaphor Jesus isn't just a poor carpenter. He is the King of kings. Which means the church is not only his bride but also his subject.

I recently finished watching the HBO documentary series Pray, Obey, Kill about a Swedish Pentecostal church that devolved into a cult centered around a woman who called herself the “Bride of Christ” and the “Queen of Heaven.” As with all cults, she, the leader, was given the power to act as a god to her followers. She demanded gifts and ultimate loyalty. And, as with most cults, the whole thing degenerated into sexual sins, violence and eventually murder. I find it interesting that this so-called “Bride of Christ” did not feel she had to obey Jesus, her “husband,” when it came to his commands not to commit adultery, and not to harm others. But then cult leaders don't like to play second fiddle to God.

We love the real God but we are to obey him. This could be a problem if he were, like that cult leader, unreasonable and abusive. But, as it says in 1 John, “his commandments are not burdensome.” (1 John 5:3) The Greek word translated “burdensome” literally means “heavy.” In various contexts, it can mean oppressive or even violent or cruel. God's commandments aren't any of those. Especially the one Jesus gives in our gospel: “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

And all of Jesus' commandments flow from that one. He commands us to treat others as we wish to be treated. (Luke 6:31) He commands us to be merciful as God is merciful. (Luke 6:36) He commands us to be reconciled to a sibling who has issues with us. (Matthew 5:24) He commands us to give to the needy. (Luke 6:30) He commands us to take care of the hungry, poor, sick, disadvantaged and despised. (Matthew 25:35-40) He commands us not to pass judgment on others nor to condemn them but to forgive them. (Luke 6:37) These may not always be easy but they are not oppressive.

They are in fact liberating. They liberate us from our suffocating solitary existence and give us useful roles in a community where we can express and receive love. They give us a sense of purpose and a variety of ways to use our talents and gifts. They expose us to people and situations we might not otherwise encounter. They challenge us to grow and enlarge our understanding of and our empathy for others. They help us become more Christlike, which is to say, more like the persons we were meant to be.

And 1 John makes this surprising assertion: “And his commandments are not burdensome, for whatever is born of God conquers the world.” Jesus said, “In the world you have trouble and suffering, but take courage—I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33) But Jesus does not conquer by spilling the blood of others and forcing them to be part of his kingdom, as worldly conquerors do. He conquers the world by shedding his own blood and inviting people to willingly become citizens of his kingdom.

Jesus started this process by what he did on the cross. Through his death and resurrection, he liberated us from the penalty of sin, the evil we commit. Through his Spirit living and working in us, he is slowly liberating us from the power of sin in our lives. When he comes again to consummate his kingdom, he will liberate us from the very presence of sin. By being reborn through Christ, we can be part of his conquering the world and its snares and temptations.

But we must be reborn through him to be able to keep his commandments. We cannot do them on our own power. Which is why he gives us his Spirit to help and to empower us. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit within us are we able to follow his commandments to love God with all we have and all we are and to love each other as Jesus loves us.

Of course the most obvious example of showing your love for someone by obeying them is foremost on our minds today. It is Mother's Day and the way we show our mothers that we love them is to listen to them and do what they say. Like God, your mother has your best interests at heart. She wants the best for you. She wants you to be the best person you can be. Which is why she tells you to eat your vegetables and to be polite and to drive the speed limit and to watch your language and to call her once in a while! Many of us have lost our mothers but we can still hear them giving us advice if we just stop and listen.

But the point is that they tell you these things because they love you. And God gives us his commandments for the same reason.

And out of love for you, so that you can get out of here early and make it to the Mother's Day brunch of your choice, I'm going to wrap this sermon up early and summarize it in a way you'll remember:

God loves you; love him back. God loves others; love them too.