Communication

The scriptures referred to are Ephesians 2:1-10.

Most animals can communicate. Rattlesnakes make their noise to let you know they are there and they are dangerous. Cats mark things with their scent glands to tell other cats, and probably dogs, what is theirs. (And you thought Kitty was showing affection by rubbing you with her head.) Male birds sing to warn other male birds that this is their territory and to tell female birds that they would make wonderful mates. Bees do a dance to tell other bees where the pollen is. Animals are really good at communicating what is essential.

But the communicators par excellence are humans. We can communicate a lot more about every subject conceivable and in incredible complexity and nuance. We can but we often don't communicate well. Especially about what is essential. Why is that?

RN Caroline Kingdon lists communication as the 4^th C in her elements of nursing her patients. She says, “Communication is central to successful caring relationships and to effective team working.” And using the metaphor of Jesus as the Great Physician and we as his spiritual healthcare team, it is obvious that good communication is of vital importance. Last time we talked about what not to say to people suffering and about actually listening to them. This time I'd like to talk about how we can communicate the gospel, the good news about Jesus, to others.

A speaker at a Campus Crusade event once caricatured the way some Christians tell people about Jesus this way:

“Hey, have you heard the Good News?”

“No. What is it?”

“You're going to hell!”

You won't find many Episcopalians or ELCA Lutherans taking that approach but we do have some tone-deaf ways of telling others about Jesus. That is, if we can bring ourselves to broach the subject at all.

Part of our reluctance is an aversion to precisely the canned presentation taught by organizations like Campus Crusade. Yet they can work. The wonderful preacher Barbara Brown Taylor was converted in college by a girl using that method. But afterwards Taylor felt abandoned by the other girl, who just left Barbara's dorm room, doubtless feeling she had put another notch in her belt for the Lord. It was Taylor's curiosity about what she had just committed herself to that led her to investigate Christianity and eventually led her into the Episcopal priesthood.

The good news is not really that hard to summarize. As I've said, it's all about Jesus: who he is, what he has done for us and can do for us, and what our response should be. What is difficult is communicating it to a specific person in a specific situation in a way that is helpful and does not feel forced.

Which requires, as we said last time, listening. What is the person chiefly concerned about? What is driving them? In other words, what are their needs, their desires, their fears? What has shaped them? What event or events in their past has led to the way they approach things in the present? Or to their view of the future?

It shouldn't be an interrogation, just a conversation. But these are things that can help you present the gospel to the person, should the opportunity arise.

I am fortunate in that my collar announces who I am and a bit about what my purpose is. And when inmates approach me it is generally because they have spiritual questions and concerns. In other words, they are interested in Ultimate Matters. It might be harder for people to see you that way. You will have to convince them by how you live your life and how you talk and act. For people to share their concerns about God and spiritual matters in their life with someone, they have to see that person as kind and wise.

When people do approach you wanting to talk about spiritual matters it is generally for either answers, or advice or for reassurance.

The hardest thing to deal with, in terms of specific Biblical and theological knowledge, is the category of people looking for answers. They may be legitimate questions about puzzling verses or events in the Bible or the nature and character of God. Or they may be skeptics with a “gotcha” question that is actually just meant to show how foolish your beliefs are. This range of questions is so broad that we can't deal with them here. There are excellent books on such questions, by people like C.S. Lewis and Lee Strobel and Peter Kreeft. There are good websites like reasonablefaith.org. If you don't have an answer, just say so and say you'll look it up and get back to them. If they sincerely want to know, they will thank you. If they mock you, they didn't really want a serious answer.

The main thing is not to let the discussion, even if sincere, get too far from the gospel of Jesus. You can fall down the rabbit hole of creationism, or abortion, or homosexuality, all important issues, and miss the essential ones about who Jesus is, what he offers and how we should respond. Acknowledge that there are Christians who hold different opinions on these important issues but emphasize their agreement on the essential nature of trusting in Jesus, accepting his grace and forgiveness and following him.

Sometimes people will come to you for advice. Usually there is a big problem or several going on in their life and they want a spiritual and/or moral viewpoint. I have found that if you listen long enough you will find that the person may give away the answer in what they say. They may not realize it and you just have to point it out. For example, you might go, “I notice you said that maybe you should talk to him about this? Have you?” If they say “Yes,” you can ask, “And how did that go?” If they say “No,” ask why not? The obstacle might be a practical one or it might be an emotional or psychological one. Or they may know what they should do and they might actually be seeking confirmation or permission to do something they are considering. Hopefully, it's to do the right thing! If not, tell them why that choice might not be the wisest thing to do.

A lot of times people are looking for reassurance. Often they are worried that they have exhausted God's patience with them or that he has given up on them or that they have committed the unforgivable sin. With such people I reassure them of God's love and grace and his great patience with us.

First I find out if it truly is a sin. People can feel guilty about things over which they have no control, like the actions of other people. Or they are obsessed with thoughts of what they would have or could have or should have done to prevent some tragedy that in reality they had not foreseen. I assure them that God does not hold us responsible for such things, as that would have required superpowers that we humans don't have.

If they have sinned, or feel strongly that they have despite what I say, I ask if they have confessed their sin to God. Usually they have. If not, we can pray right there and confess it and ask forgiveness. And then I quote 1 John 1:9: “...if we confess our sins, God, who is faithful and just, will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I really urge you to memorize that verse because it brings relief to so many people who should realize God has already forgiven them.

Sometimes they are concerned because they have a sin they keep committing and they think God has run out of patience with them and has stopped or will stop forgiving them. I point out how in Matthew 18, when Peter asks how often he should forgive his brother—7 times?—Jesus says, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!” (Matthew 18:21-22) Another way to translate it is “70 times 7!” And if we are supposed to be that forgiving, how much more forgiving is God! The important thing is that we ask for his forgiveness and then try to do what Jesus told the woman taken in adultery: “Go and sin no more.” That may require some big changes in your life, like staying away from certain people or places or situations where you might be tempted, the way a recovering alcoholic might have to avoid drinking buddies or his favorite watering hole. It might mean getting an accountability partner, someone whom you can call when you feel tempted. But just as AA is willing to take someone back even if they have fallen off the wagon and must start over, so is God willing to forgive us when we sincerely repent and go to him for help. What's worse than falling is not trying to get up and walk again but wallowing in one's failure. As long as we desire to start over, God is there with forgiveness and help in the form of his Spirit and Christ's body on earth, the community of his people.

As for the unforgivable sin, if you look at the context in the Bible it becomes clear it is not a one-time act but a persistent stance where one refuses to see God at work in acts of goodness and mercy. Jesus was healing people and his critics were saying that he was casting out demons using the power of the ruler of demons. (Matthew 12:22-32) Jesus essentially says that anyone who sees the Spirit of God at work and says it is evil instead is so far gone spiritually that they can't be forgiven. Why? Well, for one thing, they will not repent and turn to God for forgiveness. If you think your doctor is evil, you will not let him touch you, much less treat you. You will not follow his advice. So ultimately he can't heal you. The same applies to God. He can't help those who see him as evil and reject his help and his words.

Which means if you do desire to repent and turn to him, you have not committed the unforgivable sin. After all, Peter denied Jesus 3 times when Jesus could have used someone one his side. Jesus forgave him and used him to bring the good news to others. (Luke 22:54-62; John 21:15-19) Paul persecuted the church. He thought those who followed Jesus were heretics. He was actually responsible for some of their deaths. (Acts 22:3-4) But when he encountered Jesus, he acknowledged him and changed. God forgave him and used him to bring the good news to others. No one who wishes to be forgiven is unforgivable.

Too often Christians do not know how to communicate the good news of what God has done and is doing through Jesus. For instance, some think that telling people they are sinners and need to repent is an effective witness. How would you feel if a nurse walked through a restaurant, stopped at your table and told you that what you're eating is evil and was going to kill you? Would that have the effect on you that the nurse hoped it would? Probably not. But if you knew your neighbor was a nurse, and you were having problems after eating certain foods, you might go and ask them about it.

We aren't living in the first century where the good news of Jesus is largely unknown and novel. In fact it may be harder because most people in the US consider themselves Christians, though they live lives almost indistinguishable from anyone else's. And sadly many tend to tune out religious talk. What's novel is someone actually trying to follow Jesus in how they live. That's the way we proclaim the gospel in a world inundated with communications on every known medium. We preach with our lives.

Again if you were out of shape and out of breath and your neighbor who was the same age as you seemed healthier and in better shape, you might get to talking to him or her and eventually ask what their secret was. And if they were once in the same shape as you but changed, you might be willing to try the diet or exercise regimen they were on. Or if they used to have the same symptoms or illness as you, you might decide see their doctor. That's a way we Christians can bring people to Jesus. When others ask what helps us, tell them about Jesus and how he helped you.

And don't lie. If you still find certain aspects of your Christian life hard, share that. Nobody is perfect, not even the people in the Bible. Thank God our salvation doesn't rest on our ability to do things perfectly. We are saved by God's grace, his undeserved and unreserved goodness toward us. And sharing what you still struggle with will help others, especially new Christians. After all, the best description of sharing the gospel is what Martin Luther said: it is simply one beggar telling another beggar where to go for bread.

And that kind of humility might help you share the gospel. You don't have to come off as a theologian or a Bible scholar or a paragon of virtue. Just tell people what and more importantly Who helped you when you needed it. You would readily recommend a doctor who helped you. Why not Jesus, the Great Physician who heals us of our spiritual and moral sicknesses?

Telling others the good news is not optional for the Christian. Jesus commanded us to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” And if that scares you, he added helpfully, “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20) Moses was also reluctant to be God's spokesperson before his people and—talk about a tough audience—Pharaoh. God assured Moses he would be with him and used him to free his people.

Learning to communicate the gospel is essential. Because communication is a key element of following Jesus.