Getting Closer to God: Sharing Friends

The scriptures referred to are John 4:5-42.

Generally speaking we don't like to compartmentalize our closest relationships. You usually want your parents to like the person you're going to marry. You want your friends to accept the person you're dating. You want your friends from work to like your old friend from high school who's come to visit. It can even act like a reality check: do these people see what I see in this person? If they don't, are they wrong or am I? Given how many bad relationships there are out there, it seems that we rarely think we might be wrong about someone. And yet we often scratch our head over what some people see in certain others. There's even a Joe Jackson song about it. Part of it goes, “Here comes Jeannie with her new boyfriend. They say that looks don't count for much. If so, there's your proof. Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna to take him home tonight? Is she really going out with him? Cause if my eyes don't deceive me there's something going wrong around here.” Granted the point of view is someone who is jealous of the fortunate guy, but we've all had times when we said, “Those two? Really?”

And sometimes your friends or your parents or your coworkers are right. They see things you don't. They see things about the other person that, in your infatuation, you don't. They see things in you that you are blind to. But sometimes they are wrong. There are times when the new friend is a good influence on you. An old girlfriend got me into recycling way back in the 1970s, a habit I have kept up. Friends have helped people ween themselves from drugs or alcohol. Their old friends, who indulge in and encourage bad habits, might not like the new “Goody Two-Shoes” friend. In such a case, you cannot trust “the wisdom of the crowds.” Do not give up what is good for you just to maintain a popularity that is toxic.

We are talking about getting closer to God in Lent and this week we are looking at the sharing of friends. In this context, it is sharing Jesus with your friends. Sadly, Jesus has gotten a reputation as someone who spoils everybody's fun. Which is weird because Jesus loved to go to parties and they weren't always with religious or respectable folks. In fact, he knew what people said about him. “The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, 'Look at him, a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'” (Luke 7:34) But as Jesus said, “Those who are healthy don't need a physician, but those who are sick do.” (Matthew 9:12) Indeed, I have found that people in jail are more willing to talk about their spiritual needs that some who are walking around free because their sins are not illegal.

Introducing Jesus to friends, however, is not generally easy. Getting past the whole wet blanket reputation, a lot of people resent what they feel is religion being pushed upon them. And this is not necessarily because they aren't religious. Many Americans feel they are already Christian, regardless of their actual beliefs, behavior or church attendance. If you seem too keen on Jesus, they may think you are a zealot. Or they may erroneously assign other social and political opinions to you.

It takes a deft touch. You would not choose to introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to the family at a meeting called to decide whether to put Mom in a nursing home. Unless your significant other was a doctor, nurse, lawyer, or nursing home employee. Then they might have a useful contribution to make—provided the rest of the family wanted such help. Timing and empathy are vital in talking to others about Jesus.

And if you are in situation where you think Jesus would help, the best approach is the personal testimony. “When I was dealing with a similar situation, what helped me was...” And then share how God or Jesus or the Spirit or the church or some practice or prayer was of great help. People usually won't question what you say helped you.

If the situation calls for professionals, however, don't imply that the person doesn't need doctors or therapists or medicine or treatment if they just have faith in Jesus. God usually works through people, including experts. Remember that Luke was a doctor. Paul never says he didn't need him because of his own great faith. In fact, Paul called him, “the beloved physician.” (Colossians 4:14) Provided the “thorn in the flesh” that afflicted Paul was physical, Luke may have treated him for it. (2 Corinthians 12:7-9; cf. Galatians 4:13-15) So do not dismiss the idea that healing from God cannot come through professionals. God calls people from every walk of life and, as we said, can work through them.

Now people suffering from feelings of guilt, the need for forgiveness and/or reassurance of God's love are usually open to you sharing your story about how Jesus helped you in that regard. People who are adrift in life, who need a reason to live and a purpose to pursue are also likely to be interested. Whenever someone's chief problem extends beyond the material, when it comes to the meaning of life or the direction of one's life, Jesus is the best friend to have and to share with others.

That's not to say that Jesus is more troubleshooter than friend. He can be a delightful presence in one's life. One way to experience this is to look at everything as a gift from him: a beautiful view, a lucky break, a wonderful smell, your children or grandchildren, a good laugh, your pets, music, the fact that you awoke today, etc. One way to brighten your day is to thank God every time you encounter something good. And when things are hard, don't forget to include the good things in your inventory of assets you have for dealing with problems.

Sharing friends goes both ways. Not only should we introduce Jesus to our friends but we should invite them to meet his friends, namely, your faith family. If this group is a good thing in your life, why not share it with others the way you would a good restaurant or an enjoyable activity?

I recently watched the HBO documentary series McMillions, about how for 12 years most of the big winners in the McDonalds' Monopoly game were part of a huge scam. It was masterminded by 1 man who reached out mostly to family and friends and gave them million dollar pieces in return for a slice of the winnings. And why did these people, most of whom were not criminals, come to break the law and risk the inevitable discovery of the fraud, imprisonment, defamation, financial restitution that continues to this day, and the destruction of their families and the trust of the community? Because someone who knew them asked them. Human beings are social animals, for better or for worse.

On the better side, a study shows that 82% of unchurched people said they were more likely to come to church if they were invited. Most of the people not in this or another church said they would be willing to come if invited. So why aren't we inviting them?

The Samaritan woman in today's gospel was probably an outcast, possibly because of her checkered marital history. That's why she was coming to draw water at noon, the hottest part of the day. Everyone else came in the morning or evening when it was cooler. She was probably avoiding them. Then she encounters Jesus, a man and a Jew, who despite the social and religious rules he would be breaking, speaks to her. And in spite of the fact that we know Jesus sees divorce and remarriage as adultery and she's done this multiple times, he nevertheless doesn't make a big thing about it but keeps bringing the conversation back to eternal life, the Spirit and the Messiah. The woman then goes to all those people she normally avoids and tells them about Jesus. And they come to him and invite him to stay and they listen to him. And eventually they say to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the Savior of the world.”

Our part is not to argue people into the kingdom of God. It is simply to introduce them to Jesus. Let him and the Spirit take over from there.

God is love and we are created in God's image so love is part of who we are. Showing love is revealing God. And friendship is a form of love, as is romantic love and love of our family. On the night before he died Jesus said, “No one has greater love than this—that they lay down their life for their friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you servants, because the servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father.” (John 15:13-15) As we said last week, friends share good news with each other. So we should share the good news of God's love revealed in Jesus with our friends.

Getting closer to God means sharing friends, introducing him to ours and introducing ours to his.

Friends also do things together and that brings them closer. We will talk about that next week.