Thorn In The Flesh

The scriptures referred to are 2 Corinthians 12:2-10.

It has been a few years since I first heard the term “humblebrag.” It is defined by dictionary.com as “an ostensibly modest or self-depreciating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.” I love the example the Urban Dictionary gives of a humblebrag: “Uggggh! Just ate fifteen pieces of chocolate! Gotta learn to control myself when flying first class or they'll cancel my modeling contract. LOL.” Any empathy engendered by the first part of that tweet is obliterated by the second part.

While the term humblebrag may be of recent origin, the thing it describes goes way back. It seems that this is what Paul is doing in the first part of our passage from 2 Corinthians. We are coming into the middle of an argument about Paul's authority. Some so-called “super-apostles,” who are better orators than Paul, have been making headway in the Corinthian church. He doesn't feel he should have to boast about his qualifications as an apostle but feels forced to remind this church of all he has undergone for their sake. The previous chapter has a mind-blowing list of punishments, hardships and dangers he has endured for Christ. At the beginning of our passage Paul begins to tell of a positive experience he has had. He mentions a remarkable vision, but refers to himself in the third person: “I know a person in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven...”  It sounds like he's about to humblebrag!

We are not sure when this vision happened. There is no reference to it in the book of Acts. The second letter to the Corinthians was written around 55 A.D. So 14 years previous would put the vision somewhere around 41 A.D. Given the usual timeline of Paul's ministry, his 3 years in Arabia right after his conversion (between 33 and 36 A.D.) seems too distant a time for the vision. Another possibility is that Paul is describing a near death experience. It sounds like one. We read in Acts 14:19-20 that, on his first missionary journey, he was stoned by opponents in the city of Lystra and left for dead. But that is usually dated around 46 to 48 A.D., too close to the writing of this letter. Wherever he had this vision, it was profound. Yet Paul did not feel free to speak about what was revealed, let alone use it as ammunition in his argument against the false apostles defaming him.

Instead Paul chooses an odd thing to brag about: an affliction he suffered. He calls it a thorn in his flesh and that is all he says about it. What could he have meant?

Some see this as a reference to his opponents. After all, the phrase recalls the way the Gentiles in the land of Canaan are described in Numbers 33:55. The Israelites are warned that they “will become barbs in your eyes and thorns in your side.” As we've said, Paul's adversaries were better preachers than he. Earlier in this letter he quotes his critics: “For some say, 'His letters are forceful and weighty but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.'” (2 Corinthians 10:10) But Paul stresses content over oratory. “I may not be a trained speaker but I do have knowledge,” he says. (2 Corinthians 11:6) Paul knows what he is talking about, unlike his opponents. What he learned in his vision may have bolstered his confidence when he was up against those more colorful and exciting preachers.

Still the language Paul uses about his thorn in the flesh doesn't sound like he is merely talking about adversaries. He speaks of “a” thorn and “a” messenger of Satan, not a cluster of thorns or a bunch of messengers. He also speaks of a weakness he has. So some think he is speaking of a specific temptation he is susceptible to. In Romans 7 Paul speaks of his covetousness. “For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, 'Do not covet.' But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire.” (Romans 7:7-8) The Greek word for covet means to “long for, to lust after, to fix one's desire on” something. We don't know what Paul coveted. The commandment in question covers everything from one's neighbor's house, wife, slaves and animals. It is a generalized craving for anything owned by another.

Were this his thorn in the flesh, it would explain that while Paul was encouraging the church at Corinth to give to the relief effort for the poor in Jerusalem, Titus, not Paul, was actually handling the money. I have often wondered why Matthew, rather than Judas, wasn't the treasurer for the twelve disciples. It may have been that after walking away from his life as a greedy tax collector, Matthew wanted nothing to do with the temptations that came with handling money. Perhaps Paul, too, decided to keep his hands off the Jerusalem fund. And it would explain why he made a point of not taking money from the Corinthian church to support his ministry (2 Corinthians 11:9). It would explain why he was so upset by those who left the ministry because of their love of money and luxury. (1 Timothy 3:6-10) It may explain why he talks of his sufferings as not just being physically punished for the gospel but also having been hungry and thirsty and going without food or shelter or warm clothing (2 Corinthians 11:27; 1 Corinthians 4:11). Doing without the basic necessities of life are hard on anyone but especially so for someone who desires more of everything.

So it may well be that Paul's thorn in the flesh was the temptation of his flesh or fallen human nature to want more stuff. And if so, he did eventually experience triumph over it. Though at the time he wrote 2 Corinthians, he had prayed for relief 3 times to no avail, at the end of his life he was able to say, “ I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12-13) Which echoes what he says in our passage: “...for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.”

There is another possibility for the meaning of Paul's thorn in the flesh. He says that it was sent to “torment” him. The Greek word has the sense of being struck with a fist. It sounds painful. A temptation is a punch in the gut...if you succumb to it. If you keep it at bay and don't give in, it would be a source of pride. If you fall off the wagon, if you lose control, that humbles you. Yet the commandment not to covet is the only commandment that is not about an action but a state of mind. You needn't take your neighbor's stuff to covet it. Wanting badly what is not yours is the sin. Stealing it would be yet another sin. But why would God refuse to relieve Paul of a sin he kept falling into? That would hurt and could even end his ministry.

There is something that is painful and humbles you without being your fault: an illness. Nothing lets you know that you are not in control of the world or even your body more forcefully than being sick. And chronic illness reminds you of that over and over. Paul calls his thorn a messenger from Satan. He may well have been thinking of Job, whom we are told was afflicted by Satan with a horrible and painful physical ailment. (Job 2:7)

But what could Paul's chronic condition be? People have suggested headaches or epilepsy but I go along with those who see clues in Paul's letters that he had vision problems. After all, following his seeing Jesus on the road to Damascus, Paul was blind for 3 days. Then he was healed by a fellow Christian. (Acts 9:3-18) And later he was stoned and left for dead. What if as a result of that he had recurrent eye problems? It would explain why he says to the Galatians, “...it was because of a physical illness that I first proclaimed the gospel to you, and though my physical condition put you to the test, you did not despise or reject me....if it were possible, you would have pulled out your eyes and given them to me!” (Galatians 4:13-15) That makes no sense unless it was Paul's eyes that were giving him trouble. It also explains why Paul says later in that epistle, “See what big letters I make as I write to you with my own hand!” (Galatians 6:11) We know that Paul dictated his letters. The people who took them down are mentioned in the letters themselves. Yet in several he makes a point of mentioning that he is adding his signature. What if that were because Paul could not see well enough to do more than that? And remember that verse from Numbers about “barbs in your eyes and thorns in your side?” Perhaps that suggested to Paul the term “thorn in the flesh” because of the painful image of a barb in the eye. That's how it felt.

Having impaired vision would make his life difficult. It would make him very reliant on others. There may have been times when he could not walk without guidance. We know he read a lot. Paul asks Timothy to bring Paul's books when he comes. (2 Timothy 4:13) What if at times he needed a reference but had to have others look it up and read it to him because his eyes were acting up? Depending on how bad it was, people might have to put his food in his hands at meals or move his hands to his cup. He may have stumbled and fallen at times, leaving scrapes or bruises or a bump on the head or a bloody nose. This would be humiliating to any adult but excruciating to a man as brilliant as Paul. At times he would feel helpless. If he had a painful eye condition like glaucoma or keratitis, his inability to get relief (there were no analgesics back then) would wear on him and make it hard for him to think or speak or write. And if the condition was unsightly, like a recurrent stye or blepharitis, that would make him self-conscious about his looks. We know Paul performed healings. It may have caused a crisis in faith for him because he could heal others but not himself.

Whatever it was, it reminded Paul that he was an ordinary mortal, not a god. He was not immune to the ills of this life. He could not take his gifts for granted. Everything he had came from God and was on loan to him in this life. He would be grateful for what he had and humbly accept his limitations.

There is another thing that living with this painful thorn in the flesh did. It made Paul more empathetic. A recent study showed that taking a common painkiller can reduce empathy for others. I thought I was a fairly empathetic nurse but having been seriously injured and going through a long and painful recovery has made me understand those who suffer in a more profound way. That's what happened to Edward Rosenbaum, a doctor who was diagnosed with cancer of the larynx. His journal of his ordeal, which became the book A Taste of My Own Medicine and later the movie The Doctor, chronicled his anger at being misdiagnosed for 9 months and the cold and callous manner of the doctors who treated him. He became a patient advocate as a result.

Shakespeare said, “He jests at scars that never felt a wound.” We see that in those who make fun of the disabled, the disadvantaged, the dislocated, the disturbed, and the depressed. I'm not saying you have to have had a trauma in your life to empathize with the traumatized but having a fairly pleasant life and a lack of curiosity and imagination can insulate you from the suffering of others. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” He goes on to say, “...every man knows that something is wrong when he is being hurt.” What amazes me is that we don't apply the same logic to others. If someone else is hurting, I should know that means something is wrong with them. I should listen to them. I should see if there is anything I can do to help alleviate their pain, or get them someone who can.

That is one way at least in which Paul's weakness made him a strong Christian. It made him more empathetic to those who suffered persecution or fought temptation or dealt with illness and injury. He told us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15) He also said “Do not repay anyone evil for evil...Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17, 21) He may have said that because he knew that being in pain can, on your worst days, make you lash out at others. It can turn your focus inward rather than outward and make you bitter rather than empathetic. So he emphasized our oneness in Christ, comparing us to parts of his body. “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it.” (1 Corinthians 12:26) Stub your toe on something and see if that isn't true.

Paul's weakness also reminded him of how dependent we all are on one another. We only think we are independent. Everything we have and use—our food, our clothes, our homes, our vehicles, our water and electricity—was made and transported and offered to us by others. We did not raise ourselves as children. In everything we do we are helped, sometimes invisibly, by others. The first thing that would be shattered by the kind of apocalypse survivalists envision would be the illusion that you can go it alone. In that the disabled are wiser than the so-called rugged individualist. They are reminded daily that kindness and love are essential. Paul's letters are filled with the names of those who helped him and his thankfulness for them. One of whom was Luke, whom Paul called, “the beloved physician.” (Colossians 4:4) He was with Paul in his final imprisonment. How often did Paul, who was stoned, whipped, beaten, and possibly suffering a chronic illness, find himself dependent on his doctor? Paul knew we need each other.

Of course we are connected to and dependent on one another. We are made in God's image and God is love. We are most like God when we act together in love...when we listen to each other, when we share with each other, when we rejoice with each other, when we mourn with each other, when we help each other, when we support each other, when we give to each other, when we receive from each other, when we encourage each other, when we teach each other, when we reach out and comfort and heal each other.

Right now it is hard to listen to the news. Because it is full of anger and fear. Which are symptoms of pain. People are suffering. There is something wrong with the world. It is broken. It is disconnected. It is despairing. We can cover our ears to the cries for help or we can go to them. We can let them suffer or we can make them better. We can be merciless or we can be merciful. We can be cold and cruel or we can be compassionate. Which do you think Jesus would want us to be?